When you belong to the LGBTQ community, every day of every month is pride month.
With June being dedicated as pride month, it can bring out more allies than you would see on a normal day.
The world has been inundated with social justice causes which have been a step forward in bringing awareness to important and necessary causes. The downfall is that it also has triggered some extremism and performative allyship.
While many people tend to mean well in their intentions, they don’t realize that their actions can be harmful in all actuality. Performative allyship is more of a checkbox for diversity than a movement or effort. As a member of the LGBTQ community, this can be difficult to sit by and watch.
Know Your Comfort Level
Not everyone feels the same way when it comes to allyship. Some people don’t care much about it, while others become extremely bothered. Do some self-reflection and see where you fall on the spectrum.
Seeing performative measures is highly likely, if not avoidable, during pride month. Are you going to be triggered? This can be used to proactively tailor how you interact with businesses, your workplace, or social outlets during this time.
Focus On The Intent
If it is a person completing the performative allyship, take a step back and assess their intention. Sometimes it is a lack of knowledge or understanding that results in these measures. If it’s someone you know (and love), can you gently tell them how they missed the mark?
Don’t Take It Personally
While it is easier said than done, can you separate yourself from the collective group? It can be a challenge to train your brain to not take every performative action personally.
It goes along with what efforts you are willing to spend your energy on. A person who is significant to you vs. a company who you have no affiliation with will be different priorities.
Disengage If Needed
If performative allyship is causing you to enter the negative energy space, a little disengagement is necessary. Social media is always on and a sure space to find plastered pride posts and commentary. Allies will share stories and post rainbow everything during this time. Cut down on your screen time.
If more corporate performative measures are getting to you, cut back on your engagement with certain companies during this time, or research what they are doing to support the cause. If it isn’t true allyship, maybe it is time to re-evaluate your association with them.
Education And Resources
While this isn’t your job to call out performative allyship or provide education and information on how to be a better ally, if you are up for it, use this time to be an advocate. Create change where you can. Knowledge is power, and sometimes people just need a little push in the right direction.
How much energy can you healthily spend on conversations or redirecting false allyship? If you’re really ambitious, you can take it a step further and use your platform to write letters or interact with corporations who are not doing their due diligence.
Prioritize Your Mental Health
Pride month should be enjoyable, but if it is causing you stress, take a step back and prioritize your own mental health. Surround yourself with others who are true allies and support systems.
Spend time with self-care activities that bring you a sense of calm. Take a spa day. Meditate. Practice grounding and breathing techniques. Get out into nature and enjoy your surroundings.
If pride month is causing you to feel overwhelmed or out of whack, contact us today to process through those emotions. You can also check out our LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy page here.
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